December 2011
Hey guys, I know I got some messages, but my phone’s being an ass so I can’t see’em :/ but I promise it’ll be the first thing I do when I come home tomorrow!
Why Being A Girl Isn't Working Out For Me:
Body: Oh, guess what time of the month it is!
Me: Please, god, no--
Ovaries: ALL SYSTEMS GOOOOOOOO!!!
Brain: I quit. i quit. kittens and cupcakes and no one loves me. oh my god salty snacks i am furious
Me: Please, guys, calm down--
Face: TIME TO RUIN EVERYTHING YOU HAVE EVER LIKED ABOUT ME. I'M GROWING MOUNTAINS, BITCHES.
Brain: And now I'm ugly! shbdksdnksbn
Torso: Time to practice labor. cramp this bitch up. GO GO GO GO GO GO
Me: STOP IT FOR THE LOVE OF GOD!
Stomach: lol clothes cant fit you anymore. you are bloated. you are now a balloooooooon!
Me: I hate you all
Brain: I KNOW EVERYONE HATES ME I AM SO DEPRESSED. we need to procreate.
Face: Lol, i'm not done yet.
Uterus: what did i ever do to deserve this?
Brain: you just wait uterus. they're going to make you hold a baby for like 9 months straight.
Uterus: You mother fuckers.
Torso: CONTRACT!
Me: I quit being female, I am now a llama.
Brain: Me gusta.
my parents: you're so beautiful and perfect you can get anyone you want
everyone else: quick someone call animal control there's a gorilla on the loose
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teacher: e-mail me the assignment by monday. I'll need your e-mail address.
me:
teacher:
me:
teacher:
me:
teacher:
me:
teacher:
me: tastybitch69@aol.com
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my ex just announced that he’s coming to the same party as me on new years (woooh, two whole days before the party. It’s a record).
Don’t get me wrong, he’s sweet and there is no hate between us but…
Oh my god, when you’re not in love with him he is the most annoying person on Earth…
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Me: I LOVE YOU I WANT TO BE IMPREGNATED BY YOU I WANT TO THROW MY ARMS AROUND YOU AND SNUGGLE WITH YOU IN A BED I DON'T EVEN CARE IF IT'S YOURS WE COULD BREAK INTO FUCKING IKEA AND SNUGGLE ON THE FUCKING HÜDENFRËUGEFS I DON'T CARE I WANT TO HOLD YOU AND TOUCH YOUR FACE AND LOVE YOU AND MAKE YOU FUCKING PANCAKES WITH SOME BACON AND ORANGE JUICE AND YOU KNOW WHERE WE'LL GO AFTER THAT WE'LL GO TO THE BEACH AND BANG AND WE CAN HAVE A MONTAGE OF US SKIPPING THROUGH A MOTHER FUCKING FIELD OF MOTHER FUCKING DAISYS AND WE'LL HAVE CHILDREN AND HAVE A HAPPY FAMILY WHILE YOU'RE ON THE ROAD AND WE'LL RUN AROUND IN THE NUDE WHEN WE'RE OLD AND THE KIDS ARE GROWN CAUSE WHEN YOU'RE ALONE AND THAT OLD YOU CAN SAY FUCK CLOTHES MAN GIMMIE MY FUCKING TAPIOCA PUDDING GOD JUST LOVE ME.
Attractive band guy: I'm sorry I didn't catch that, whatd you say?
Me: oh can you sign my cd please? And maybe have illegal sex with me?
Attractive Band Guy: What.
Me: What who said that
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so here it goes, DA BLOGS OF 2011! Dun dun dun duuuun.
But I’m not gonna call it that, I’m gonna call it “The appreciation of nice people post” because I love following people who are nice and my friends.
voodoo-fever is very nice and has a very warm heart ♥
fairydustandklainebows is also very nice and welcoming and open ♥
bagelslippers has a mind much like my own and...
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If you are rebloggin’ (is that with two gs? Oh well) something with ma silly comment and you remove da silly comment, would you maybe remove ma name too? Cuz it’s just hanging up dere, looking silly.
Thanks bros… Brothers? Brotherin?
What's the difference between tumblr and a...
priestmisha:
A restaurant has servers that work.
“I met Chris Colfer recently. He’s’a fucking amazing kid, I love what he is, I...”
– Jared Leto, about Chris Colfer - Nylon Magazine (via sweetklainekisses)
